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<title>I Lost my Goddamn Mind (It Happens All the Time) by Amyiguess</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849156">I Lost my Goddamn Mind (It Happens All the Time)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyiguess/pseuds/Amyiguess'>Amyiguess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, POV Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:35:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyiguess/pseuds/Amyiguess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil being taken by his father from Andrew's pov</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Lost my Goddamn Mind (It Happens All the Time)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>“Thank you, you were amazing.</em>”</p><p>Those words echoed in Andrew’s head. How could he have been so stupid, how hadn’t he realised it was Neil’s fucked up way of saying goodbye?</p><p>Andrew felt angrier than he had in a long time. He looked down at Neil’s abandoned duffel, his racket, his phone. There was no way Neil would have willingly given those things up. So he’d been taken, he hadn’t run.</p><p>Andrew was starting to wish the rabbit, <em>his</em> rabbit, had run. </p><p>Nicky and the upperclassmen were still shouting for Neil, they hoped he was still around somewhere. They were dumber than Andrew thought. He looked around and tried to push down the panic forming in his chest. He tried convincing himself he didn’t care about Neil...until his eyes landed on Kevin Day.</p><p>Kevin looked afraid, guilty even. Andrew’s vision went red.</p><p>“Where is he?” Andrew spat, walking threateningly towards the striker.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he whispered, avoiding the other man’s gaze.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, you were amazing.</em>
</p><p>“I think you do,” Andrew said, voice low, accusing, poisonous.</p><p>“An-”</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, you were amazing.</em>
</p><p>Andrew didn’t even remember moving, but he had grabbed Kevin by the throat and slammed him into the bus.</p><p>“I suggest you do not lie to me.” </p><p>Kevin’s yelp of surprise had attracted the attention of their teammates. Matt moved forward to pull Andrew off Kevin.</p><p>“Don’t touch me,” Andrew snarled, but Matt pulled him off Kevin anyway. He tried taking a swing at Matt but decided it wasn’t worth it. </p><p>Nicky handed Andrew Neil’s phone, he had dropped it on his way to Kevin, it was open to a countdown. </p><p>Neil knew. He knew he was going to be taken. That’s why he asked Andrew to break the deal.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, you were amazing.</em>
</p><p>He turned back to Kevin. </p><p>“I will not ask again.” </p><p>Kevin looked sick. “His fatherーhe works for the Moriyamas. NeilーNathaniel Wesninski. If his father has him thenー”</p><p>Nicky choked on a sob. Wymack had to hold Andrew back from strangling Kevin again.</p><p>“Where,” He asked again.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, you were amazing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, you were amazing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thank youー</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Coach’s phone rang a few hours later.</p><p>Andrew held his breath.</p><p>Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.</p><p>Wymack’s eyes filled with tears and Andrew’s hope was gone as fast as it had arrived. </p><p>He hung up the phone. </p><p>“What is it?” Dan asked in a shaky voice.</p><p>“They found Neil andー” His voice broke. “He’s dead.” </p><p>It took Andrew 5 seconds to process the news, 5 seconds for his entire world to shut down. </p><p>He punched the bus, his fist landing right next to Kevin’s head, he turned around and walked off, ignoring his team calling him back to them.</p><p> </p><p>Andrew only let himself cry once. He hadn’t spoken to his teammates in 3 days, since Wymack got the call. Since his world was shattered. Aaron had decided to spend his time with Katelyn, Kevin with a bottle of Vodka and Nicky with the upperclassmen. </p><p>He realized he missed Neil, he missed his obnoxious prying. </p><p>Andrew realized that he had loved Neil. </p><p>And so he cried for what seemed like hours or days.</p><p>He cried because Neil was gone forever.</p><p>He cried because he hadn’t realized that their last kiss would be the last ever.</p><p>And when he stopped, he couldn’t feel anything at all. </p><p>Neil was cremated, the Foxes hadn’t had the chance to see him before, the FBI told them it’d be better this way. Neil (though they kept calling him Nathaniel) looked horrifyingly awful to the agents.</p><p>The team went to pick the ashes up without Andrew, Andrew refused to go. Nicky brought them back to their room.</p><p>“We thought you might like to keep them,” Nicky said. Nicky looked awful, like he hadn’t slept in days, which he probably hadn’t. </p><p>Andrew didn’t acknowledge him, but he got up after Nicky left. He sat at his desk, where Nicky had put down the urn. He put his head down and stared at it.</p><p>“Thank you, you were amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>Those were the last words Andrew Minyard ever spoke aloud. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry hahshshshhs</p><p>Follow me on my <a>Instagram</a></p><p>The title is from The Drug in Me is Reimagined by Falling in Reverse</p></blockquote></div></div>
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